Sunday, December 09, 2007

The Depths of Despair



Ok, I'm not quite in the depths of despair but I'm incredibly disappointed at the moment.

What do you do when you extend a hand of friendship and get the cold shoulder in return? Two weeks ago I invited several women that I've known for a long time to come here today for a couple of hours of sewing/knitting/whatever craft and just hanging out. At least 6 enthusiastically agreed to come and had no problem with the day. It's now an hour and a half after we were supposed to have it and not one person showed up! :_( I was so looking forward to this and no one even bothered to call. For the last two years, it seems like I don't have any friends to talk to any more. I thought I had found a good way to start building friendships again but this is just too much. I worked so hard getting the house all nice and clean and setting up a nice assortment of tea and sweets and it was all pretty much for nothing. (Not that I'd complain about the house being clean.) (Oh, and the last sewing session I had set up for homeschoolers-only one mom showed up and she hadn't even brought anything to work on. It ended up just being a playdate to see if her son would be comfortable enough around my kids. This and the other mom not showing up at all just totally threw me off kilter so I probably wasn't as good of a hostess as I should have been. Not that I think I was rude or anything, we had a nice conversation and I did what I could to get her son warmed up to my kids. She even ended up staying the full hour and a half despite initial indications she'd only stay for a little while. But she is Iranian and she's related to many of the women that were supposed to come today so maybe she didn't like my hostessing abilities or I caused some slight offense that I'm not aware of.)

The picture above is sort of indicitive of my mood right now-rather grey and soggy. I don't know if anyone out there can understand how I'm feeling right now but I just had to get this out. Inspired by Patty at Morning Ramble, I intended to post a list of 50 things I'm thankful for but I'm just not up to it right now. I am grateful for a lot of things but lack of good friends isn't one of them. Maybe later.

2 comments:

Jodie said...

Oh Shellie, I am so sorry that no one turned up. That is so disappointing for you and rude of them, I can't believe no one called. I can't think of anything to say that may cheer you up at the moment, but you should feel proud of yourself - You made the effort, you have done nothing wrong. Keep smiling, things have a way of working out.
Jodie

pomo housewife said...

Oh, yes, I do understand. I've been there, too, with morning teas and other things coming to naught, or acquaintances - sometimes who seem so friendly and chatty if I've called them - never taking the initiative to call. So, you are not alone.

Often it is just a combination of factors - unwell children, and thinking that everyone else would be there so it wouldn't matter if you don't go... things like that... and sometimes maybe it is just rudeness. I always like to think the best of people.

I find that most of the craft/music groups here are at awkward times - for people who work 9-to-5, I guess - and daytime things are for mothers with small children (mine are at school), and I find it increasingly hard to just talk about babies in those situations.

The structure of our society is all wrong. It is so isolating; we should be living close to our families, working with our mothers and grandmothers.